Last Word - Tina Malone

  • The List
  • 22 May 2008
Last Word - Tina Malone

First record you ever bought
‘Build me Up Buttercup’ by The Temptations.

Last time you were chatted up
Oh, every day! (laughs) Usually by guys who are younger than me, strangely enough, and I end up saying I’ve got bras older than you, and if I sat on you I’d kill you and one of the chat up lines I usually get is, ‘Hey you’re quite pretty for a fat bird!’

First film you saw that really moved you
Probably Anne of the Thousand Days with Geneviève Bujold and Richard Burton. That’s one I watched when I was about nine or ten and thought, ‘Yeah, I want to act’.

Last lie you told
How much I’ve just spent on a bag to my fella. If it were 40 quid I’ll say it’s 15 quid and if it were 200 quid I’ll say it were 90 quid reduced.

First movie you ever went on a date to
It was 1979 – Saturday Night Fever. As you can see I’m a bit of a sad bastard with a memory like an elephant.

Last time you cried
Every day for my dad – he died five years ago.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work
Start a new diet. I’ve just lost three stone three pounds in five weeks, and I’ve had a gastric balloon fitted because I needed to lose weight before I chucked myself off a balcony. Every year I start a new diet and this one is working because I can’t eat – it’s as simple as that. In saying that, though, if anyone thinks it’s an easy option they’re wrong, as it’s been the most horrific five weeks of my life; I’m vomiting a minimum of twice every day with my body rejecting the balloon, but it does work. I will be a size ten this year if I’ve got to chop me head off.

Last extravagant purchase you made
It was another handbag, a Chloe bag for 1250 quid, which is disgusting but I don’t drink or smoke or anything else, so it’s a once in a lifetime kind of thing.

First crush
David Cassidy – I was absolutely obsessed.

Last book you read
Wall and Piece by Banksy.

First concert you ever attended
Bingley Hall, Stafford – Earth, Wind and Fire, 1977 or 1978. I went to see everyone, I was big into gigs. I remember my parents said I couldn’t go and I just went anyway and got battered when I got home!

Last time you were star struck
I think the one time I’ve thought ‘F**k me, I’m in the presence of talent’, was when I briefly met Susan Sarandon in the toilet when she was doing the Clive Anderson show years ago and we had a chat. It was the first time I’d ever gone to someone to tell them how amazing I thought they were, and she just smelt of stardom.

First song you’ll sing at karaoke
If I had to do it, it would probably be a Beatles song – early, poppy Beatles, not late, psychedelic Beatles. ‘Love Me Do’ would go down a treat.

Last time someone criticised your work
One critic said I had ‘a voice that could crack concrete’, which I thought was hysterical.

First time you realised you were famous
I think it’s probably when other people go ‘I love you!’ or whatever. Or when people shout down the street after me. What’s always a big shock is when someone stops you and I think it’s going to be either ‘Mimi from Shameless’ or ‘Mo from Brookie’, and they go, ‘I saw you in a Terence Davies film when I was in Australia’, (1992’s The Long Day Closes). Those moments are really bizarre.

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
If I’m really honest, booking a holiday six weeks ago to Egypt. I could kick myself in the head for doing it; it was, without doubt, the worst holiday of my entire life.

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