Debbie McGee opes up about her grief
Debbie McGee says she is determined to keep busy following the death of her husband earlier this year.
Paul Daniels' widow Debbie McGee is determined to keep busy following the death of her husband earlier this year.
The world-famous magician died aged 77 a month after receiving a terminal brain tumour diagnosis, but Debbie has revealed she is learning to cope with her grief.
She explained: "I know if I sit and do nothing and constantly think about him I'll break down all the time.
"So I choose not to do that, but I have my moments. With grief it takes you unawares. You can think: 'I've turned a corner today. It's not filling my brain.' Then, something sets you off that you're not really expecting. It can be anything. I can be dusting and it's just a picture or something.
"It's like someone sticking a knife in your stomach and no matter how brave a face you're putting on you've got that feeling inside you.
"Before I married, I was independent and lived alone. But there is a difference between choosing to be alone and when it's forced upon you.
"For the first few weeks, when I went out shopping I'd walk around feeling a bit like an orphan. When Paul was here if I went out I'd ring him or he'd ring me and say: 'While you're out could you get, whatever?'
"Or if he heard something on the radio, he'd call to say: 'This is on the radio. Turn it on. You'll enjoy it.'
"But the phone wasn't ringing and I just felt completely abandoned."
However, Debbie said the situation is slowly becoming easier to cope with.
She told the Daily Mail newspaper: "I remember one day just feeling so sad I didn't know what to do. You can't just cry and scream, so what do you do with it? Now I've learnt to block those feelings out and choose when I remember him.
"After all, as a friend said in a text on the day of his funeral: iYou'll get through today because the worst has already happened."'