Corinne Bailey Rae's heartbreak
- Bang Showbiz
- 7 May 2016
Corinne Bailey Rae says she had "nothing to live for" after her husband Jason Rae died of an accidental overdose in 2008
Corinne Bailey Rae felt she had "nothing to live for" after her husband died.
The 37-year-old singer's spouse Jason Rae died from an accidental overdose in 2008 and in the year that followed, she relied on her friends to look after her "like a baby".
She said: "They washed my clothes, got me food and did all the stuff you need to live because you don't feel motivated to do anything. The conscious part of me was saying, 'I have nothing to live for, what's the point? I can't imagine living with this amount of pain.' But there were tiny things saying, 'You will carry on.'"
Despite the tragedy, Corinne never felt angry with Jason over how he died and feels sorry that he took a risk and suffered the worst possible consequences, especially as he was usually so "cautious".
She said: "I just felt for him because he would have been so annoyed with himself. It wasn't like he was on a big binge. He was a bit drunk at a friend's house and thought, 'I wonder what this will do.'
"He was always so careful in other ways. He wouldn't take too many paracetamols or eat food that was out of date. He was cautious, not this devil-may-care kind of person at all. For me, it has a weird innocence to it. And that's the sad thing, just going to sleep and not waking up."
The 'Put Your Records On' hitmaker is now married to producer Steve Brown - who she wed in 2013 - and admits overcoming her grief has made her more grateful for the happy moments in her life.
She told HELLO! magazine: "It's amazing to feel lightness after all the heaviness. The contrast is so marked.
"Maybe I'm not super joyous but, because I've experienced that pain, the contrast feels really crazy. I feel like I just appreciate everything now, all the day-to-day things."