The young person's guide to Desert Trip's geriatric lineup (aka 'Oldchella')

The young person's guide to Desert Trip's geriatric lineup (aka 'Oldchella')

Who exactly are the old duffers headlining the biggest festival of the year?

On Mon 3 May 2016 men with beards started to gently weep in unison around the globe as Desert Trip was confirmed. The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan on Friday; Paul McCartney and Neil Young on Saturday; Roger Waters and The Who on Sunday. 'Oldchella' gathers together pretty much every OAP rocker for one weekend of classic rock under the California sun. It's being billed as a 'once in a lifetime' one-off gig and if the recent deaths of David Bowie and Prince have proved anything, it's that time is running out when it comes to ticking off the elder statesmen of rock'n'roll. And Desert Trip offers the opportunity to tick off six of the biggest names in music in one fell swoop.

So kids gather round the gramophone as we explain why this announcement is getting your dad all hot under the collar …

The Rolling Stones

Come on, everyone's heard of the Stones. Big lips, big hooks, bigger bank balances. They took the blues and repackaged for white teens and kick started a British rock'n'roll invasion. Mick Jagger's the pouty one, Keef's consumed more drugs that 10 Pete Dohertys; Ronnie Wood's the youngest superstar of the whole shebang (at a youthful 68) and Charlie Watts prefers jazz anyway. They're so ubiquitous even SuBo and Ke$ha have covered them.

Bob Dylan

Imagine a world where 'going electric' could be considered blasphemy; when folk music was considered cutting edge. That's how old Bob Dylan is. And the songs: 'All Along the Watchtower', 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door', 'Like a Rolling Stone'. Imagine if that Ed Sheeran you like so much actually had something to say, but better and grumpier. Infinitely grumpier.

Paul McCartney

Remember 'FourFiveSeconds' from last year? You know that old bloke hanging about in the background playing guitar? The one who isn't Kayne or Rihanna? That's right Macca proving he's still got it. The only surviving member of The Beatles that matters (people took the mick outta Ringo back in the 60s), basically the founding fathers of Britpop. You know, nice songs you can whistle, about love and holding hands. Ahhh innocent days.

Neil Young

Like the rest but a bit country. And Canadian.

Roger Waters

Before clubbing was even a thing, kids in the 60s still liked to get off their noggins and Pink Floyd were the ultimate soundtrack to the London rave scene (or 'happenings' as they were known back in the day). They all fell out in 1985 but Waters was the driving force behind the birth of psychedelic rock. Kinda like Aphex Twin but with guitars. And tunes.

The Who

The Who sang 'I hope I die before I get old' in 1965. Too late. To be fair only Pete Townsend and Roger Daltry are still standing. Pete invented smashing up guitars on stage, now that's rock'n'roll.

Tickets range from $199 for a General Admission day pass to $1599 for a three day Platinum Pit or Seated pass, on sale Mon 9 May.

Desert Trip, Empire Polo Club, California, Fri 7–Sun 9 Oct.

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