Arrrr! International Talk Like A Pirate Day be upon us!

Pimp your vocab buccaneer-style with this round of Talk Like A Pirate Day events across the UK

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Arrrr! International Talk Like A Pirate Day be upon us!

Ha-harrr, ye scurvy lubbers! Put down yer skinny frappuccinos, stick the tops'l in the laundry basket and hark to us, for 'tis International Talk Like A Pirate Day on Saturday 19 September, and ye'd do well to heed our word if ye want to avoid th' crushin' social disgrace o' failin' to greet at least one person on the day in the manner of a salty sea dog! Th' festival were started by two crusty devils in northernest Ameriky, John Baur and Mark Summers, but like pox aboard a co-ed trainin' vessel it did spread with might and main, and now it be truly global in scope. Luckily for ye, Jim lad, there be a fine selection o' events all over the land this weekend in which ye can pick up th' fundamentals o' pirate jibber-jabber, not to mention some confoundedly smart internet doodads to help ye develop yer linguistic prowess, ye pox-faced swabs.

As any lice-infested scoundrel knows, th' first thing a novice pirate does by way of learnin' the talk is to watch an instructional video. Th' enterprisin' dogs at Canadian humour site LoadingReadyRun have produced one, and it's as handy as a self-sharpenin' cutlass and as amusin' as a barefoot man gettin' a splinter in his foot while walkin' the plank. (We've all been there, yarrr.) When ye've watched it, cast yer eyes on some o' the pirate-related events goin' on around the land. – Did we say 'lad'? Arrrr, a thousand pardons, ye saucy wench, didn't see ye down there. (We pirates be not noted for gender-sensitivity. A workin' group there be, led by Black-Hearted Leigh, which be workin' on ways to address LGBTQ people in pirate talk, but results be a long way off. Leigh be very conscientious.)

Days Out

Pirate's Quest in our old port of Newquay be actually featurin' a Talk Like A Pirate event, which if you asks us, be a bit of a no-brainer. Brighton's Sea Dome and the National Sea Life Centre in Birmingham be splicin' the mainsail like true corsairs, wi' entire weeks o' briny fun. Th' National Museum o' Childhood in Kent be holdin' a Pirate Day, and Kent be a haven o' misrule if ever we heard o' one. There be another Pirate Day in Telford's Warehouse in Chester, if ye've a mind, with shanties from the Wee Bag Band. But, ye dogs, this news'll chill yer bones: in the festerin' pit o' infamy that is London's Leicester Square, there be Neverland – a day as full o' pirate activities as this ship's parrot be full o' irritatin' catchphrases.

What with historical talks at th' Old Royal Naval College, a Pirate Quiz at Deal Maritime Museum, a Pirate Party Weekend in Discover Children's Story Centre, there be no excuse for not bravin' the storm and bucklin' yer swash like a good 'un.

Club and Music Nights

But the fun don’t stop when yer little ones are in bed, narrrr. Be ye a fan of prancin', twirlin' and all kinds of club-related shenanigans? This very night in Islington, The Garage be hostin' a pirate-themed night. In Kidderminster on Sat 19 Sep, Black Max & The Pirates present ska at The Boars Head. Remember them well, we do; they never 'ad no time for swashbucklin', they were always off practising their high-energy Jamaican dance music stylin's.

Well, ye mutinous freebooters, we've told ye what's on. Get out there and talk like a pirate, and bear in yer fevered minds when that there David Lean were makin' 1950's Treasure Island, if only John Laurie had swapped roles with Robert Newton, pirates everywhere would now talk like Private Fraser in Dad's Army. Yarrrrr.

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