A Right Royal Rumpus

Cabaret Voltaire, Edinburgh, Thu 23 Nov

CHARITY CLUB NIGHT

Even those who can’t stand her music might have felt a twinge of concern when it was announced that Kylie Minogue had breast cancer, and it’s heartening to hear she’s in remission, out and about, and getting back to normal. Yet, despite an extensive screening programme, around 130 women die from the disease each year in Scotland, and those that survive live with the spectre of cancer returning and the likelihood that susceptibility will be passed on to their children.

Of course, the disease affects LGBT and straight people without differentiation, but when the Cabaret Voltaire decided to stage a Madge vs Kylie night in aid of Edinburgh’s Breast Cancer Institute back in January, it shook a decidedly camp collection tin. The event raised £2300, and cunningly, punters were left to ponder which of the stellar singers came out on top themselves. The Cab’s Sarah David is in no doubt, however. ‘I think Madonna wins hands-down every time!’

Now two new contenders enter the ring. Pocket-sized funkster and ladies’ man Prince squares up to King of Pop and friend of children everywhere, Michael Jackson. The boys will be tough to beat: Jacko ducking the blows with a sensational Moonwalk, and the Artist Formerly Known As utilising his extra flexibility (ahem), gained from allegedly having a rib removed. And will Madonna’s controversial Malawi adoption swoop paint her in a bad light?

Manning the decks in a Royal Command Performance will be DJ Kaupuss, Jon Pleased and Miss Christina, with karaoke under the aegis of Calverto. There’s a lingerie fashion show (which runs through the day, from noon), goody bags, makeovers and prizes for dancing and costume - culminating in the chance to win a holiday. An excellent way to recover from all that fun, presumably.

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