Martine McCutcheon reveals seven-year depression battle
- Bang Showbiz
- 22 September 2013
Former 'EastEnders' actress Martine McCutcheon has revealed how she has battled with depression for seven years following her illness and bankruptcy which has ruined her life
Martine McCutcheon has opened up about her seven-year battle with depression following her bankruptcy earlier this year.
The former 'EastEnders' star was "devastated" when her £25,000 engagement ring - given to her by husband Jack McManus - was seized by bailiffs, and she is in no financial position to buy it back.
She told The Sun on Sunday newspaper: "I burst into tears. I was devastated.
"I just thought my health, money, career have all been taken away from me, and now even my engagement ring - the one thing that represents what is solid about my life - has gone.
"I had given them everything I had so when the ring went as well it was heartbreaking. I just felt like nothing was going my way, and that even a symbol of something so personal as falling in love with somebody had been taken away from me too."
The 37-year-old actress also revealed how she prayed she wouldn't "wake up" when she was suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome.
She said: "I would pray to God I wouldn't wake up. I would just say, 'Please, whatever this is, it is making me feel so bad, just let it kill me.'
"I've had the worst seven years ever. It's just been one thing after another. I have not been in a nice place in my head, financially nor with my career."
Her illness - which saw her collapse 20 times and confined to a wheelchair - also cost Martine her career after it made filming difficult.
She added: "I'd started struggling with the schedules. I could sleep endlessly.
"Once a scene was cut I'd nod off in my trailer and producers would struggle to wake me.
"I was worried people thought I had a drink or drug problem, but I didn't, I was just really unwell."