Mystic Alice on what to expect from your first year as a student
- Alice White
- 9 September 2013
The List's resident psychic foretells what you and your coursemates can expect for the year ahead
Our very own resident psychic, Mystic Alice White, gazes deep into her crystal pint glass and foretells what you and your course mates can expect for the year ahead
Beware! Bad financial decisions are in the air. You’re going to meet a handsome man who will try and sell you a SNAPfax. You’ll buy the SNAPfax. You will then lose the SNAPfax. You won’t trust business again.
History of Art
The position of the moon suggests that you’re going to be more materialistic than usual, which is fine because you’re signed up to do a History of Art degree and we all know what that means.
I predict that at some point you will write an unrequited love song about your lecturer. It’ll be written in a beetroot soup you made yourself.
You gorgeous egomaniac. You are truly better than everyone else and everyone adores you and the fact you talk so loudly. Prepare to be shot with a poison dart during your improv workshop.
I predict that you’ll spend your entire student loan on ways to colour code your work. Your stars are aligned this month and that’s really just the way you want them.
You are the keeper of liquids. It’s your round, and it’ll always be your round. Right now it’s fine because you’re drinking in student bars, but that luxury doesn’t last long. Good luck with that.
You’re going to find a large supply of Pringles at a party. The stress will be getting to you so you must resist all urges to steal them. You’re above that now and you’ve been warned: you’re training to be a doctor.
You’re supposed to be hard-hitting but people are going to find out about that soft toy. Get rid of it, or at least stop rocking while you suck your thumb. You’re a grown-up now. No teddy on Earth is going to absolve the pain of the huge debt you’re running up.
I predict that the biggest project you’ll work on this year is slicing up a Berocca and stuffing it into a can of Irn-Bru.
You’re logical, composed and meticulous. You don’t care much for my predictions. You’re all about the science but keeping a notebook of all the inaccuracies in The Big Bang Theory isn’t what your scholarship was for.
You’re not about the suns and moons, you’re about what they shine on. Will it be you?
My prediction is that you haven’t got this far down the page, because if your father finds out you’re reading anything other than facts about suspension bridges, you’ll be in a whole lot of trouble.