T in the Park 2010: Alternative Entertainments

Luxurious ways to spend your weekend at T in the Park

There’s a lot of great live music at T in the Park … but if you didn’t know that already then perhaps you should have a think about moving out of that cave you live in. Right here, however, is the guide to the non-musical treats on offer at the festival.

Your first port of call should be the Residence, T in the Park’s boutique camping arena. Of the various accommodation on offer, including nomadic yurts, old-school tipis and cosy wooden ‘Kocoons’, we’d probably splash out on the ultra-luxurious Log Kabin, featuring a double bed, a fridge full of cold drinks, a flat-screen TV & DVD player, lights, speakers, a wardrobe, soundproof walls and underfloor heating.

Sure, it costs a rather pricey £2500 for two, but it does give you access to the Residence’s other facilities, including the Yurtel Café (selling wood-fired-oven pizzas and fresh coffee over the course of the weekend) and the Residence Recovery Spa, offering a range of face and body art, hair styling and relaxing massages. A final upside is that, if you’ve got the money, not all residence accommodation is sold out – chances are you could still get tickets.

For those unwilling to pay Residence prices but who still want to be pampered, head to the Refresh Tent. For only £3 a pop – or £20 for a weekend pass – you can have your hair washed by The Matrix team (the hairdressers, not the computer hackers) before receiving an immaculate coiffure in front of showbiz-style mirrors. Finish off your face with cosmetic samples from Smudge, or have one of their make-up artists doll you up.

All of which frippery brings us onto Fancy Dress Friday. Last year’s winners paid tribute to Blur by posing as the milk cartons from the ‘Coffee and TV’ video. The organisers have announced that this year’s theme is ‘The Mad Hatter’s T Party’; so expect to see lots of top hats, Cheshire Cats and assorted tw- ahem, chaps having a jolly good time.

Lastly, the Healthy T arena will be back again this year, offering a wholesome alternative to all that bare-arsed hedonism. Aside from healthy and scrumptious vegetarian food options, there’ll also be Gypsy jazz, a toy orchestra, clowns, fairies, masked magicians, string quartets and B-movie tragic love songs swimming around this section of the Balado campsite.

You can also relax on picnic beaches to watch Scottish b-boy crew The Flyin Jalapenos pop, lock and flip around for your entertainment followed by drunken revellers trying to replicate the moves – which is equally entertaining.

T in the Park

From relatively humble beginnings, T in the Park has become the acknowledged behemoth of the Scottish festival scene and one of the UK's largest events. In 2015 the festival moved from its longstanding Balado location to the new grounds of Strathallan Castle in Perthshire. Bands appearing in 2016 include The Stone…

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