Tape Face: 'Last meal on earth? Probably kale. I mean, if the world is ending it's already pretty bad'

Tape Face: 'Last meal on earth? Probably kale. I mean, if the world is ending it's already pretty bad'

Gaffer-taped comic takes on our First & Last Q&A

The silent comedy star takes on our Q&A in which he writes answers quietly about comets, kale, chaos and Crash Test Dummies.

First record you ever bought
It was the criminal one of Joey Delaware. He had reports of wolves and something to do with Big Jimmy.

Last extravagant purchase you made
See above.

First film you saw that really moved you
I had cooked a chicken soup and decided to leave it for several weeks and upon my return it had the most glorious film on it. You could look at it from several different angles and see incredible things.

Last lie you told
See above.

Last great meal you cooked
There was this soup …

First movie you ever went on a date to
Pumpkinhead 3. Absolutely brilliant.

Last time you cried
Closing credits of Pumpkinhead 3.

First thing you do when you've got time off work
Book another show.

First crush
My thumb. An incident with a hammer and a cabbage and some classical music.

Last book you read
The operating instructions of the Bosch SMV68MD01G. An incredible story.

First great piece of advice you were given
Exist.

Last time you were starstruck
Halley's Comet in 1986. Not technically a star but very very impressive.

First thing you'd do if you ran the country
That would ruin the surprise.

Last meal on earth: what would it be
Probably kale. I mean, if the world is ending it's already pretty bad.

First song you'll sing at karaoke
'Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm' by Crash Test Dummies.

Last time you exploited your position to get something
I managed to get an extra hour in a library due to keeping quiet.

First time you realised you were famous
I'm not. I'm a clown.

Last time someone criticised your work
Robert my rubber plant is always the one to give me show notes. He's brutal.

First three words your friends would use to describe you
Have we met?

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
Robert the rubber plant. I didn't realise how brutal he is

First concert you ever attended
It was Enya. This is a lie. Google it.

Last time you bought someone flowers
It was for Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond just to prove a point.

First object you'd save from your burning home
Robert the rubber plant otherwise he would kick my ass. He's brutal you know.

Last funny thing you saw online
A couch on the IKEA website. Ridiculous.

First job
Not applicable.

Last person you fantasised about
Not applicable.

First word you spoke
Bah ha ha ha ha ha! Really?

Last crime you committed
I poured the milk onto the teabag and then added the hot water.

First book you read for a second time
Coping with Déjà Vu.

Last song at your funeral
The song that never ends.

First person you'd thank in an award acceptance speech
Chaos.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep
Did that rubber plant just move?

First thing you think of when you wake up
Where's Robert?

The Tape Face Show is on tour until Sat 28 Sep.

The Tape Face

New Zealand prop comic and mime returns with new jokes and new props but the same tape.

Dundee Rep Theatre

Sat 28 Sep

£18 (£9–£16; Children £9) / 01382 223530

Redgrave Theatre, Bristol

Tue 24 Sep

£20 / 0117 315 7800

Wed 25 Sep

£20 / 0117 315 7800

SEC, Glasgow

Fri 27 Sep

Lomond Auditorium

Prices to be confirmed / 0844 395 4000

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