Hard Rock Café

This review appears in the The List's Eating & Drinking Guide 2008 – in the shops now or buy online.

Brace yourselves. A trip to the globe-straddling Hard Rock Café is more experience than mere meal out. Leave any resistance at the door and let your smiling server lead you into a bear pit of gaudy cocktail-fuelled groups on work nights out, sugar-rushing kids' parties and gaggles of nervy tourists. As if there wasn't enough going on, screens show classic rock videos (everything from Guns n'Roses to Phil Collins and all in between) to distract diners from their dishes, and each other, while service also lives up to preconceptions, with uncomfortably short-skirted waitresses constantly on hand for cola refills. Thankfully, the food is overshadowed by the crazy hubbub all around. The jumbo combo showcases the Café's style with a pile of greasy starters to share, including hickory-smoked chicken wings and curious Sante Fe spring rolls. Or try the perplexingly 'most-requested' smoked chicken, spinach and artichoke dip with Tex-Mex trimmings. Bombastic burgers, steaks and a 'smokehouse' selection test your appetite, but nothing transcends fast food production line standards. Desserts are mostly variations on the hot fudge sundae, there are milkshakes to wash it all down, and you can finish it all off with some souvenir Hard Rock merchandise.

• High point: Non-ironic 80s rock videos
• Low point: Food a distant second to the Hard Rock marketing experience