Today, Stand-up

45 events

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3 Days off Jesus

Born on the 22nd of December, David Burke is only 3 days off Jesus. Join this non-drinking Irish man for a cup of tea and a night of comedy and stories about childhood growing up in old Ireland, religion, women and all that could lay in-between. “Burke’s story-telling comedy is simply adorable”. Suitable for ages 18+.

Caroline Of Brunswick, Brighton

Tue 21 May

£5 (£4) / 01273 917272

Part of Brighton Fringe Festival.

Benefit for Diabetes UK

Diabetes UK Scotland helps those affected by diabetes, aiming to improve their quality of life. Tonight is all about raising funds for the charity, with a top line-up of comedians including Fred MacAulay, Keir McAllister, Eleanor Morton, Becky Price and host Bruce Devlin.

The Stand, Edinburgh

Tue 21 May

£9 (£8) / 0131 558 7272

Bill Bailey: Qualmpeddler

The master of surreality airs his qualms and doubts about the world via a charming blend of religious dubstep, horntallica and an interesting new musical take on Downton Abbey.

The Guildhall, Portsmouth

Tue 21 May

£25 phone for availability / 023 9282 4355

  • 20:00

Lee Nelson: Live

Comedy rogue and South London tearaway Lee "Nelsy" Nelson is fronting his latest live show, Lee Nelson's Well Good Show. The show involves a little audience participation which sees Nelson waling through the audience sharing mortifying tales and cheeky banter with unsuspecting members assisted by his loyal friend fat…

Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool

Tue 21 May

£22.50 / 0151 709 3789

  • 19:30

Breakneck Comedy

A night of comedy with open mic opportunities and a different line-up every time.

Snafu, Aberdeen

Tue 21 May

£5 in advance; £6 on the door / 07702 305532

Featuring Jojo Sutherland and guests.

  • 20:30
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Red Raw

Weekly beginners' showcase where the bright young things of Scotland's comedy circuit strut their stuff for an entirely reasonable two whole pounds. The occasional seasoned act drops by to try out new material, so it's a bit of a win/win really.

The Stand, Glasgow

Tue 21 May

£2 / 0844 335 8879

With Mark Nelson and Susie McCabe.

Jimmy Carr: Gagging Order

The deadpan one presents his new crude, rude, but clever show, no doubt packed with puns aplenty and jokes that teeter on the verge of acceptability.

The Hexagon, Reading

Tue 21 May

£25 / 0118 960 6060

  • 20:00

Richard Herring: Talking Cock – The Second Coming

A sort of male Vagina Monologues, Herring bares all about man's best friend. (Nope, not dogs).

The Roses Theatre, Tewkesbury

Tue 21 May

£15 / 01684 295074

  • 20:00

Sexual Freaky Friday

Larry Dean and Christian Elderfield are straight and gay, can you tell which one is which?! One attracts the guys, the other the girls, but it's the wrong way round! Join them as they try to cure metro-sexually transmitted diseases in this aptly titled show! Suitable for ages 18+.

The Hobgoblin, Brighton

Tue 21 May

Free / 01273 917272

Part of Brighton Fringe Festival.

99 Club Leicester Square

Regular stand-up comedy.

Storm, London WC2H

Tue 21 May

£12; £8 adv / 07760 488119

Smart gags and insightful humour from 2011 Foster's Edinburgh Comedy Awards Best Newcomer nominee Holly Walsh, who famously broke her arm jumping from a pier as part of a stunt at a festival. Also featuring Joe Bor and John Robins.

  • 20:30 – 22:30
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Aperol Spritz Stage

Find our bar and boutique stage at The Famous Spiegel Garden where a daily performance space will be on offer for all. Follow @aperolspritzUK for more information on how to apply and audition #321SpritzStage Afternoon & evening slots available. Suitable for ages 18+.

Aperol Spritz Social, Brighton

Tue 21 May

Free / 01273 917272

Part of Brighton Fringe Festival.

Brian Gittins

Character comedy from David Earl as the roadside cafe owner.

Soho Theatre, London W1D

Tue 21 May

Soho Upstairs

£12.50; £15 (£12.50; £12.50) / 020 7478 0100

  • 19:15

Bruce Fauveau: Sword And I

Physical comedy and surreal sketches about a man who finds an ancient weapon.

The Temple, Brighton

Tue 21 May

Free / 01273 917272

  • 19:15

The Cambridge Footlights: Footlights Smokers

Original sketches and stand-up as the comedy troupe performs new writing.

ADC Theatre, Cambridge

Tue 21 May

£7 (£6) / 01223 300085

  • 19:00 – 21:00

Comedy Night

Offbeat, conversational humour and surreal observations of everyday life from 2007 Chortle Best Newcomer Award winner Carl Donnelly. Also featuring Mark Smith and Ahir Shah.

The Kings Hall, Herne Bay

Tue 21 May

£8 / 01227 787787

  • 20:00
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The Cutting Edge

Topical comedy

Comedy Store, London SW1Y

Tue 21 May

£14 (£9; £9) / 0844 871 7699

  • 20:00

£14 (£9; £9) / 0844 871 7699

Topical humour from Roger Monkhouse, Nathan Caton, Paul Thorne, Sean Meo, Alistair Barrie and Martin Coyote.

  • 20:00

David Burke: Three Days Off Jesus

Storytelling inspired by being born on December 22nd, religion, women and growing up in Ireland.

Caroline Of Brunswick, Brighton

Tue 21 May

£5 (£4) / 01273 917272

  • 18:00 – 19:00

Eddie Pepitone: Electrified

Dark and cutting humour from the American stand-up and self-titled Bitter Buddha.

Soho Theatre, London W1D

Tue 21 May

Soho Downstairs

£10; £15; £20 (£17.50; £17.50) / 020 7478 0100

  • 19:45

Ftw Comedy Pop Quiz

Gary Carey and Kate McGann host the interactive weekly quiz, with stand-up from James Loveridge, Amy Howerska, Luke Capasso and Kerry Billson between rounds.

The Queen Of Hoxton, London EC2A

Tue 21 May

£3 / 020 7422 0958

  • 20:00

Funtime Comedy Club

Guest acts take to the stage with MC Chris Tavner.

The Packhorse Inn, Bury

Tue 21 May

£8 / 07763 226651

  • 20:30
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Greg Davies: The Back Of My Mum's Head

Stories and anecdotes from The Inbetweeners actor and TV panel show regular.

Pavilion Theatre, Bournemouth

Tue 21 May

£20 / 0844 576 3000

  • 20:00

How to Be Rich and Thin

Pauline Curtin believes that Wallis Simpson was right, "You can never be too Rich or too Thin". But instead of a prince Pauline married frogs. The frogs paid alimony, enabling her to travel first class in a fanciful world where 'authentic' is only useful if it describes a fur coat. And lettuce is as 'green' as she'll go.

The Quadrant, Brighton

Tue 21 May

Free / 01273 917272

Part of Brighton Fringe Festival.

The Last Lectures

Stephanie and James explore the human condition, with slides and jokes. James: “British theatre director with a wicked sense of humour” (NY Times). Stephanie: “A great stand up, always works magic” (Phil Kay). In a series of personal confessions, Stephanie’s lecture examines the nature of embarrassment. James shares…

The Temple, Brighton

Tue 21 May

Free / 01273 917272

Part of Brighton Fringe Festival.

The Last Lectures

James Veitch shares communications with internet scammers and Stephanie Lang examines the nature of embarrassment.

The Temple, Brighton

Tue 21 May

Free / 01273 917272

  • 20:30

Lee Camp And Nick Revell: Transatlantic Fury

Political satire and social commentary as American stand-up Camp and London-based comic Revell join forces.

The Stand, Newcastle upon Tyne

Tue 21 May

£10 / 0844 693 3336

  • 20:30
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