Tonight, Comedy

Born on the 22nd of December, David Burke is only 3 days off Jesus. Join this non-drinking Irish man for a cup of tea and a night of comedy and stories about childhood growing up in old Ireland, religion, women and all that could lay in-between. “Burke’s story-telling comedy is simply adorable”. Suitable for ages 18+.

The above photo was taken by self-timer just as the deadline was approaching. It shows hair being eaten and also used as a moustache. Expect much stronger stuff in the actual show. Also, the photo had to be 250 x 250 pixels and we didn’t know what this meant. I digress. The show is comedy clown. Suitable for ages 18+.

Diabetes UK Scotland helps those affected by diabetes, aiming to improve their quality of life. Tonight is all about raising funds for the charity, with a top line-up of comedians including Fred MacAulay, Keir McAllister, Eleanor Morton, Becky Price and host Bruce Devlin.

The master of surreality airs his qualms and doubts about the world via a charming blend of religious dubstep, horntallica and an interesting new musical take on Downton Abbey.

Comedy theatre.

Comedy rogue and South London tearaway Lee "Nelsy" Nelson is fronting his latest live show, Lee Nelson's Well Good Show. The show involves a little audience participation which sees Nelson waling through the audience sharing mortifying tales and cheeky banter with unsuspecting members assisted by his loyal friend fat…

A night of comedy with open mic opportunities and a different line-up every time.

• Directed by: Jamie Lloyd
• Written by: Harold Pinter

Simon Russell Beale and John Simm star in Jamie Lloyd's production of Harold Pinter's tragicomedy, set during a Christmas day in a state-run mental institution.

The singer and piano double act performs lively cabaret and comic songs.

• Directed by: Gareth Tudor Price
• Written by: Amanda Whittington

Amanda Whittington's racy comedy about the society event of the year, Royal Ascot, which ups sticks to the fair city of York; four intrepid lasses, fresh from a fish factory in Hull, decide to show the Southern softies how it's done.

• Written by: Neil Simon

An adaptation of Neil Simon's famous comedy with the two leading roles performed by women.

A free comedy event picking out some of the Scottish comedy scene's freshest talent.

Weekly beginners' showcase where the bright young things of Scotland's comedy circuit strut their stuff for an entirely reasonable two whole pounds. The occasional seasoned act drops by to try out new material, so it's a bit of a win/win really.

• Written by: Eric Chappell

ITV's top comedy of all time comes to the stage in a brand-new production from the Comedy Theatre Company.

Camp and outrageous comedy horror classic, directed by Christopher Luscombe on its 40th anniversary tour.

A wickedly funny glimpse of the world of a trendy cocktail bar by the four long-suffering waitresses who work there.

Brighton’s legendary Treason Show returns, aiming both satirical barrels at the politicians, bankers and celebrities making the news this month. Think Spitting Image meets HIGNFY with songs. If you like your satire with a bite and your tunes with a topical twist, this is the show for you. “Savagely funny-fantastically…

Leading New Act Contest promoters Laughing Horse present the WeGotTickets Brighton Fringe New Act Competition. Spread over 4 heats and a final, competitors perform in front of a panel of expert judges for the chance to be crowned Best New Act at Brighton Fringe 2013. Up to 10 competitors perform each night alongside a top…

• Directed by: Lyn Lockyer
• Written by: Willis Hall

Keith Waterhouse and Willis Hall's comedy drama, adapted from Waterhouse's novel about a young man trapped in a humdrum existence who develops a rich fantasy life.

• Directed by: Psyche Stott
• Written by: Dennis Potter

Northern Stage presents Dennis Potter's loss-of-innocence drama in which seven children play together in the English countryside during a wartime summer. Directed by Psyche Stott.

• Written by: Alan Bennett

Alan Bennett's celebrated play about an unruly bunch of bright, funny sixth-form boys in pursuit of sex, sport and a place at university.

A production of the classic play about tight-fisted Victorian patriarch and boot-seller Hobson.